We’ve all been there—those moments when life feels overwhelming, and negativity seeps in. But bouncing back is not just possible; it's a skill we can cultivate.
I'll share my step-by-step process for turning the tide, regaining control and clarity.
🧭 Direction - 💭 Declutter - 🌀 Digest - 🗣️ Dialogue - ⚡ Do
🧭 Direction
I keep a Notion page of my goals in my 5 categories of life - Health, Relationships, Wealth, Hobbies and Learning - and block the 2 most important ones of each category as the sole targets for a certain period, forget the others. You can use your categories. The important thing is to have them defined.
First thing: I review if my goals are in line with what I want AND if I am following through by answering these 3 questions:
- Am I doing what I planned?
- Why not?
- Are these too many goals?
➡️ If I feel like I am too lost or overwhelmed I start with the mind declutter step.
💭 Declutter
Simply jot down what I am feeling: sources of anxiety, stress, no second thoughts, just vomit everything. I write in my computer notes.
I use bullet points, this is important for visualization. Don’t mind if it has 40 items, just enumerate them.
This step is tremendously important, it helps me externalize and actually rationalize the feelings into less nebulous thoughts.
There is compelling evidence on this: Lin Guo 2022
🌀 Digest and Energize
Next I give it some hours to marinate. Well, depends on the urgency.
Write down my Energizers: what I do that makes me feel ready, motivated. Like a system reset.
I go shower + dress up + plan the day or week and head to a Café with good coffee where I feel it is fun to work, study and reflect. Talking and being with my friends or my gf is also great.
From the Declutter List, create my Action list.
I use the stoic dichotomy of control:
- Select what I can control
- Write how to approach it
- Ignore what I can’t control (for now)
🗣️ Dialogue
This step can bring a lot of value but is tricky. Advice seeking can be useless and counterproductive.
3 important principles I follow:
- Someone who can understand your context
- Don’t try to confirm all your ideas
- Talk, not write - less space for misunderstandings and higher rate of “idea expression”, all about reps and refining your thinking
⚡ Do!
From my Action List I start off with the easiest thing and do it immediately, it can be something small - this gives me momentum to then approach the bigger lifts.
Schedule the items in my Action List and keep going.
❗️This does not substitute professional medical advice.